Yoga is often seen as synonymous with quiet, calm, focus, and presence. Certainly not with things like hyperactivity, boisterousness, distractability, and inattention. So would it really be possible to be a good yoga teacher and have ADHD? I certainly hope so!
A few months ago, I was diagnosed with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder as a 25-year-old cisgender woman. I'm a yoga teacher and mindfulness facilitator who runs a successful small business, and I'm about to register as a provisional psychologist. Before you claim me to be a fraud or an imposter, bear with me. I want to talk about some of the misconceptions about ADHD and how it can manifest in adult women, as well as share my own experience getting diagnosed and navigating this new world.
Note: When I reference "women" in this post, I will be talking about cisgender women. Unfortunately, there is limited research about intersex, trans, and gender-diverse people with ADHD, and I'll also be speaking from my own experience as a cis woman.
What is ADHD?
Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder is a spectrum of symptoms that impacts day-to-day functioning. In particular, it affects what is known as "Executive Function", which includes working memory, attention regulation, impulse control, and cognitive planning. That can make it really difficult to manage time, complete tasks, switch from one task to another, keep track of belongings, and follow sequences, among other things. Because ADHD is a spectrum, it can impact people in very different ways. I love this image below from Sonny Jane (The Lived Experience Counsellor) as a way to visually show which aspects someone might have trouble with. Executive Dysfunction isn't unique to ADHD, but it is a hallmark of what ADHD brains are most impacted by.
And then of course we have other symptoms of ADHD like hyperactivity. More than just jumping off walls, ADHD in adults (especially women) can look like racing thoughts, talking really fast, and feeling restless. Some ADHDers liken it (ironically, for me) to having "Bees in your brain"
Due to highly gendered socialisation in children, there tends to be different expressions of ADHD in girls and women. In particular, it seems to be more socially acceptable for boys to be rowdy and high-energy, whereas girls are left to internalise their hyperactivity or present more as "daydreamy" or "ditzy". It unfortunately means that we are far less likely to be diagnosed, and sadly, sometimes less likely to have our diagnoses taken seriously. There is a lot I could unpack here about gender expectations, but that might have to be another day.
ADHD is incredibly complex due to the large number of brain and body systems involved, including alterations to neurotransmitters, genetics, brain structure, and brain function. I won't get into it or we'll be here all day, but a good intro can be found at the ADHD Institute.
But there was one theory that really helped me understand my challenges. The theory suggests that dopamine levels and release patterns in the brain cause ADHD brains to be hypersensitive to the stimulus in their environments. Hank Green does an awesome job of explaining it on SciShow Psych (you can watch it here) or if you want to read the abstracts of the scientific papers, you can find them here and here. I'll do a very brief (and somewhat oversimplified) summary below.
Basically:
Tonic Dopamine = Hangs out between your neurons, ready to help you do a task
Phasal Dopamine = Released by your neurons in response to a stimulus
The theory states that ADHD brains have less tonic dopamine available, which makes the phasal response super strong. This means that you need much more stimulation to get the dopamine flowing (and therefore get your tasks done) than someone with a non-ADHD brain. It means that boring tasks can be excruciating (with no dopamine to get us there), and can also cause us to slip into hyperfocus when we find something that really triggers our phasal response (which causes a flood of dompamine). In other words, we tend to be hypersensitive to what's going on around us (or within us), which from the outside looks like inattention or hyperactivity, but we're really just trying to stimulate our brains to find the dopamine. Hence the popular saying in the ADHD community: "Follow the Dopamine"
Stimulant medication for ADHD essentially keeps more of the dopamine outside of the neurons (as tonic dopamine) to make those phasal responses less intense.
My ADHD
When I first started thinking about getting assessed for ADHD, I started a Word document to note down all the examples that came up in my daily life that impacted my functioning. Everything from forgetting appointments, to going to the wrong venue for my sister's dance performance, to getting told off for being on my phone in a Zoom training because I couldn't sit still. I had 11 pages of this document, so I'll spare you the details. The main thing for me was my daydreaming-procrastinating-hyperfocus extremes, which was really impacting me at work and home.
Take this blog post for example. I've been procrastinating writing it and filming the video that goes with it (you can watch that just below) for weeks now, and all of a sudden I've had a bout of hyperfocus, and I'm so absorbed in the task that I'm snacking on stale chips instead of grabbing my dinner out of the fridge. Would I rather be having a full meal and going for a walk before it gets dark? Absolutely. I even have free time to finish it tomorrow. But I feel like I physically can't stop what I'm in the middle of. The same goes if I'm stuck in a daydream or a train of thought, I just can't pull myself away to do the work in front of me.
Now you might be thinking "Leah, everyone does this stuff", and you'd likely be right. Everyone has periods of finding it hard to concentrate, getting absorbed in their work, or being forgetful. ADHD is largely "normal" struggles, but the difference is how severe they can be, and how much they impact your life. I once forgot to renew my car insurance for an entire year. If I'd had had an accident in that time, I could have been financially devastated. My executive dysfunction impacts me every single day and can be a huge source of stress and anxiety in multiple areas of my life. Coming to terms with "Imposter Syndrome" has been a massive part of this journey for me, especially as someone who has always been seen to be high achieving, it can be scary to admit the things you struggle with.
I've made a quick video talking about 5 things I've learned through my journey so far!
So where does this leave me as a yoga teacher? Mindfulness, meditation, and yoga are actually all really wonderful practices for ADHD brains because they all help to strengthen that skill of attention, and I've certainly found them incredibly beneficial in my own life. Now, I once sat through a 10-day silent meditation retreat and survived, but I definitely wouldn't recommend that for newbies (I had a song stuck in my little hyperactive mind for 3 days and I wanted to implode). Start small and go from there!
There are a lot of yoga teachers in this world. When I first started out, I tried to be the picture-perfect Yogini, with a calm and soothing ethereal presence. I quickly realised that there were plenty of people who did that effortlessly, and me spending all of my energy trying to emanate that was just exhausting, as well as completely superficial. I like my yoga classes to be full of joy and humour! Of course, we also cultivate spaces that are quiet and comforting, but it comes from a place of authenticity and vulnerability, not a manufactured version of what "peacefulness" should or shouldn't be. I don't expect my teaching style to fit every single student, and I wouldn't want it to. As a yoga teacher, I bring my whole self to the practice, and I encourage my class to do the same, quirks and all.
ADHD isn't something I have, it's woven into the very fabric of my being. It brings me my spark, my energy, my enthusiasm, and my creativity. Everything I've achieved in my life has been because my brain is the way that it is, and it's impossible to say what I might have been like if I was born without an ADHD brain. Since getting my diagnosis I have had so much more love and appreciation for these parts of me, because despite the challenges, I absolutely would not change my brain for another one.
Diagnosis
There is no single test for ADHD, so it takes a thorough assessment by a psychiatrist who specialises in ADHD. Unfortuantely, there are currently only 3 psychiatrists in Adelaide who will assess adults, and their books are regularly full. I waited about 6 months for my assessment appointment, but I have had friends go through Telehealth appointments with interstate psychiatrists who had a much shorter wait time.
The first step to accessing a psychiatrist in Australia is usually to see your GP. They will talk to you about your options and write a referral letter to the psychiatrist you choose. I believe there are sometimes opportunities to see a psychiatrist through the public health system (no charge, but very very long waits), but generally you'll be referred to a private practice.
My diagnostic appointment only took about an hour (but they can be longer, I'd done a lot of legwork to document my symptoms). I completed a paper tick-box assessment, and then the psychiatrist asked me about my childhood, family, relationships, school, work, and home life. I was really nervous before the appointment, but she did a great job at guiding me through the conversation. I was diagnosed on the day and prescribed stimulant medication to try. I know other diagnostic processes can be quite different, so it would be worth ringing the practice and asking some questions if you'd like to know in advance.
Here is a cost breakdown of my diagnosis journey. Keep in mind that this could vary quite a lot between practices. I chose to keep my medication management with the same psychiatrist, but you can often have this managed by your local GP.
Diagnostic consultation:
$565 appointment fee, less $233 Medicare rebate = $332
Follow up appointments (I've had two of these so far, it depends on how long it takes to find a medication that works for you, if that is the treatment option you're taking):
$161 appointment fee, less $77.65 Medicare = $83.35
Psychologist appointments (ongoing therapy and practical skill-building, every 4-6 weeks)
$190 appointment fee, less $129.55 Medicare rebate = $60.45 per session - some psychologists will also waive the gap so there is no cost. Currently, you can access up to 20 medicare rebated sessions per calendar year, which need to be approved by your GP with a mental health care plan.
Treatment and Medication
I was only diagnosed a few months ago, so I've very early on in this journey. Treatment for ADHD is commonly a combination of stimulant medication and ongoing psychological support and education. Some people also recommend an ADHD coach, but I haven't had any experience with that.
Unfortunately, ADHD stimulant medication tends to be an appetite suppressant, which is something I've definitely struggled with so far. I'm currently playing around with my dosage and brand with my psychiatrist, and also working with my psychologist to create strategies to make sure I am eating enough and staying mentally well. Stay tuned on this one, I guess!
Reactions, Support, and Discrimination
Overall, the reaction of the diagnosis from my family and friends has been positive. I did have several comments like "Oh but you'd only have a mild case, right?", which didn't come across like the compliment they thought it did. People also wondered how I did so well at uni if I "couldn't focus", and there were a few little instances of people being patronising, but nothing I couldn't handle.
One thing that surprised me was when I asked my psychiatrist which subtype she was diagnosing me with - inattentive, hyperactive, or combined. I had a feeling I'd be inattentive, because I'd never seen myself as very hyperactive. My psychiatrist and I had a wonderfully interesting conversation about how ADHD is manifested in women, and how often we don't cleanly fit into subtypes because so many of the studies were done on boys and men. Then she said, "But if anything I'd say you lean a little more hyperactive". I was really surprised by this, and started to ask the people who knew me best. Their reaction? Yeah, duh! Of course you're hyperactive, have you met you?? I guess "bubbly" was never the full story with me!
Unfortunately, I did have one negative experience with discrimination due to my ADHD. I won't go into details, but after disclosing my difficulties to my employer and laying out some plans to help me cope, I lost a significant job opportunity. Now of course, I can't say for sure that it was related to the disclosure, but I later had the senior manager tell me when I asked for feedback: "In the future I wouldn't be disclosing that to your boss. It doesn't look good". I was gutted, of course, even though that rejection ended up taking me on an incredible career path I wouldn't have otherwise gone for. But still, it goes to show how far we still have to go to make neurodivergent people feel safe and comfortable in their workplaces. If you think you've been treated unfairly because of your neurodivergence or disability, please know that you can reach out to your HR department or the Fair Work Ombudsman
Tips and Strategies
ADHD is incredibly individual, and there's no one-size-fits all approach to living! But here's some strategies I've found useful.
Be kind to yourself - I'll do another post unpacking this fully, but I can't stress enough how important this is. Shame is not an effective motivator, and a downward spiral into self-criticism is the absolute last thing we need on our plates. Treat your challenges with the same patience and kindness as you would someone you love.
Keep things interesting - If you're anything like me, you'll start to use a cool new organisation system, and you'll think you finally cracked the code! Only to have it flop a month later. Our brains like novelty and newness, so spicing things up or rotating systems might help keep the dopamine flowing!
If you struggle with day-to-day care tasks like cleaning and self-care, do yourself a favour and check out Struggle Care. I'll be reviewing her new book when I get my hands on it, but I can't recommend her approach enough!
Keep things where you can see them - Striking the balance between clutter and functionality is a fine line, but object permanence is a common struggle in ADHDers, and keeping important things where I can see them is a lifesaver!
Don't "Should" yourself - Forget all the rules of society for a sec and think about what actually works for you. Do you like to work in sprints and take long breaks between tasks? See if you can make your work days fit your rhythm. Do you have a pile of clothes that always ends up in the same spot that you feel like you "should" put away? Put a basket there, now they're away. Make your space and your life work for you, not the other way around!
Make things easy for yourself - I have systems set up to help me avoid making decisions when I'm feeling overwhelmed (like a meal generator and saved outfits). I have baskets and folders to dump things, ready for when I'm feeling motivated enough to tackle them. And most importantly, I have really consistent mini-routines that make tasks easier, like going for a shower, making breakfast, and winding down for bed, which takes all of the thinking and motivation out of the equation.
It'll take time to find what works, so try to look at it as a new problem to solve, with opportunities to see where your living style takes you!
I hope this post has been an interesting insight for you into to the world of ADHD! This is still something I am very much navigating and learning about, and something I plan on talking about more. If you have ADHD or are neurodivergent, I'd love to hear about your experiences with yoga! Feel free to comment here or head over to our social media to continue the conversation